Fuck you.

[agentak]

Dear Abusive Loser Ex-Boyfriend,

By now I have made the correlation. We broke up (read: I dumped your needy ass) two years ago, and I finally stopped talking to you all together last year. That being said, when I run into mutual friends that I still enjoy talking to, we catch up about our lives (like, for example, our love lives). Obviously I have noticed that when I talk to them while totally unattached, things stay normal and it’s like you don’t exist. However, when I bump into them while dating someone (or having some type of romantic/sexual relationship), you contact me within three days.

You have a new girlfriend.

She was sitting beside you the last time you spent all night calling me.

Go bother her.

Trying to get her to look like me is freaking creepy. She doesn’t have the skin for long red curly hair, anyway.

And why the hell would I ever want you back in any sense of the word? Even when we did the whole “friends” thing after I dumped you, you were a creepy stalker and an asshole.

I don’t want anything to do with you.

Stop trying to get me back when I’m taken. It’s not going to happen. I’m not even desperate enough when I’m single.

The only reason I didn’t kick you to the curb in the first few months of our relationship was because when I hinted that maybe we should see other people, you threatened suicide.

Did you ever wonder why that stopped working, that day two years ago when I stopped taking your calls?

It’s because I didn’t care anymore. A part of me hoped you’d kill yourself because after all that I hated you so much I thought you deserved it.




So now I’m debating what to do. I might agree to go out for coffee with you just to show you that since the last time you saw me I got an $18,000 boobjob (courtesy of the Government, since it was to correct a hormone disorder. The fact that it brought me up a cupsize or two to about an H and made them ten times perkier is just a happy side effect) and my hair (that you always had a fetish for) is now so long I have to avoid sitting on it. Just to make your whore of a girlfriend even more depressing for you to slink back to.

Or I might just ignore you.

I'm kinda thinking about texting you the picture of me and Sabre from the last post and telling you that if  you keep bothering me I'll have him tear out your eyes as souveniers.

Though I could always go with the advice of a great friend: “Fuck that. Shank him in the face.”

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

(Cynthia)hey natalie who is Sabre??

[agentak.livejournal.com]

The Gyr Falcon I flew, remember? (You should get an account here, Cynthie!)