Fuck you.

[agentak]

Dear Abusive Loser Ex-Boyfriend,

By now I have made the correlation. We broke up (read: I dumped your needy ass) two years ago, and I finally stopped talking to you all together last year. That being said, when I run into mutual friends that I still enjoy talking to, we catch up about our lives (like, for example, our love lives). Obviously I have noticed that when I talk to them while totally unattached, things stay normal and it’s like you don’t exist. However, when I bump into them while dating someone (or having some type of romantic/sexual relationship), you contact me within three days.

You have a new girlfriend.

She was sitting beside you the last time you spent all night calling me.

Go bother her.

Trying to get her to look like me is freaking creepy. She doesn’t have the skin for long red curly hair, anyway.

And why the hell would I ever want you back in any sense of the word? Even when we did the whole “friends” thing after I dumped you, you were a creepy stalker and an asshole.

I don’t want anything to do with you.

Stop trying to get me back when I’m taken. It’s not going to happen. I’m not even desperate enough when I’m single.

The only reason I didn’t kick you to the curb in the first few months of our relationship was because when I hinted that maybe we should see other people, you threatened suicide.

Did you ever wonder why that stopped working, that day two years ago when I stopped taking your calls?

It’s because I didn’t care anymore. A part of me hoped you’d kill yourself because after all that I hated you so much I thought you deserved it.




So now I’m debating what to do. I might agree to go out for coffee with you just to show you that since the last time you saw me I got an $18,000 boobjob (courtesy of the Government, since it was to correct a hormone disorder. The fact that it brought me up a cupsize or two to about an H and made them ten times perkier is just a happy side effect) and my hair (that you always had a fetish for) is now so long I have to avoid sitting on it. Just to make your whore of a girlfriend even more depressing for you to slink back to.

Or I might just ignore you.

I'm kinda thinking about texting you the picture of me and Sabre from the last post and telling you that if  you keep bothering me I'll have him tear out your eyes as souveniers.

Though I could always go with the advice of a great friend: “Fuck that. Shank him in the face.”

Comments

[agent-florida.livejournal.com]

Dude. Creepy guy sounds creepy, and you are probably much better being far, far away from Creepy McCreeperson.

Fuck all that. Rip his teeth out through his ass. Or, you know, wait for him to grow up before you talk to him again, which, judging from this post, might never happen.

God, and he has a girlfriend too? Weird-ass McCreeperson right there. I am SO SORRY you have this kind of jerk in your life.

[agentak.livejournal.com]

Oh, he's such a skeez. Like, if we had an argument and I hung up on him, he'd call non-stop for about forty minutes when he'd realize that I wasn't going to answer and then show up at my home/work/school/wherever, regardless of whatever time it was. Day or night.

Apparently he's on anti-psychotics now. WHICH SAYS A LOT.

Yeah. She's a drunken, slutty high school drop out that's only with him because he'll foot the bill for whatever she wants because she has no job and lots of wants.

Guh, I have a lot of people like this in my life. I have another post that sums up my dating history (it's under the entry: dating tag)

[agent-florida.livejournal.com]

Major caveats on two of the things in your comments. First, I hate HATE with a burning passion when my BF hangs up on me during an argument. I understand that it's his way of telling me he needs to cool down but it just feels so much like a rejection that it hurts my feelings. And then I'm that person texting him like crazy until he's ready to call and make up. Then again, we fight like reasonable adults and never go to bed mad, which is probably more than this guy could do for you. And he's getting better about telling me what he's feeling so that he doesn't have to do the whole disconnecting thing.

Also, I was on antipsychotics for a while (actually, for about a year until just recently), which still doesn't mean that I was a psycho ex or a bad girlfriend. (Actually, they didn't do much, just made me dizzy as hell and made it hard to stay awake. Also, best dreams ever.)

See? You don't want to touch either of these two people with a ten foot pole, and good on you for realizing that. 'Cause you're gonna show 'em, show 'em you don't need 'em... I feel like I'm about to break out into a showtune or something. >

[agentak.livejournal.com]

When I hung up on him it was less of an argument and more like him screaming at me about how I'm not good enough and how everything that goes wrong in his life is my fault. And then me telling him over and over that I have to go, dinner's on the table, I have class, my phone is dying or I just don't want to hear it anymore. And after the fifteenth time saying it, I just give up and hang up.

Yeah, I actually should be on some serious meds too, but he wasn't the kind of psychotic that was just troubled or whatever. He was abusive, controlling and obsessive.

...I'm a little afriad that you will...

[agent-florida.livejournal.com]

SHOWTUNE SHOWTUNE SHOWTUNE

[agent-florida.livejournal.com]

Now that I got that out of my system... (Comment also posted before I was done, eep.)

Yeah. That's the kind of conversations you don't deserve, and you're right to hang up on those. 'Cause that's abusive.

And yeah on the meds thing too. I don't have much experience with schizoid attacks but I do know that my meds made it easier to sleep, which made me a better person to be around. And I'm not sure it's meds as much as extensive, extensive therapy that's going to help that bastard. Some of 'em never grow out of it, sad to say.

[agentak.livejournal.com]

GAH!

Now I feel like story time:

So I was major into debate, I went to the provinical competition every year. It was after school and he started calling me, ranting about how I need to make myself more availiable to him (I wasn't allowed to turn my phone off or to silent, even in class or while I slept, and that day I had a huge exam that I would get an automatic 0% if my phone wasn't off). So he's screaming into the phone at me and all the while my debate coach is glaring at me to get off the phone because we need to start the meeting. I keep saying "Okay, we'll talk later, I need to go, the meeting is starting, I'll call you the second it's over, I have to go, I'm sorry, ect". He tells me that he's refusing to let me hang up but eventually I just have to.

He won't stop calling and the coach makes me shut off my phone.

He shows up and the meeting, muttering to himself and glaring in through the window on the door at me. One of the coaches sees this and has me move to the other side of the room, which can't be seen by the door. My ex then goes outside to glare at me through the window. My other coach closes the blinds. My ex comes inside again and stands a few inches from the door.

I start getting really upset because no one was home at my house (parents at work and little sister was at a friend's) and I'd have to walk home in the dark to an empty house. My ex continued to glare at the door the whole time. I had to stay with the coaches an extra few hours after everyone had left because even if they drove me home, I'd still be there alone until my parents got home. I sat at the school while they did some marking until my later that night when my parents got home from work and could pick me up.

This sort of stuff used to happen on a regular basis.


I want to get on anti-anxiety meds but it's rediculously hard to get an appointmen with a psychiatrist here...

[agent-florida.livejournal.com]

WAH CREEPER MCCREEPERSON. Jesus, I'm glad you're not with this person any more. This is frightening behavior. (And go me, I just deleted my scared!River Tam icon, which would have expressed my DO NOT WANT at this. In the meantime, have some naked Brad Pitt.)

Have you talked to a professional about it? Speaking from experience - talking about stuff like this was so much more helpful than just the drugs. Of course, both of those are much easier to get through the university system, especially in the States, so I understand the whole hard to get an appointment issue. Can you go through your regular physician and get a rec or something? 'Cause, really.

[agentak.livejournal.com]

(...You deleted River? *total Firefly fangirl*)

I don't even care enough about him anymore to get help over it. I honestly find his existance funny. He's pumped so much money into the new girl that he had to lie about his income and is being investigated for tax fraud. He thought that telling the Government that he has a car, (payments, gas and insurance) an appartment and university while working two jobs. All that is true. He claimed that he's got all that, he manages to pay all those bills every month and says his income is only $500 a month, because after he buys her everything she wants he doesn't have nearly enough to pay taxes on a decent income.

That and because of his anger issues he's a cripple. He was angry, broke a glass in his right hand and destroyed the tendons perminantly. It almost makes me belive in karma.

I have a lot of anxiety issues that I need the meds for. I did used to see a councilor that I trusted (also a paranoid schizophrenic so that takes a lot) but my dad won't put it under his health plan anymore and I can't afford it.

I waited five months for an appointment with a doctor and she turned out to be a quack. I had to explain to her what the radical notion of being attracted to your own gender was. It took ten minutes to get her to understand what Homosexuality is. Like she'd never heard of it before, total deer-in-headlights. Then I had to branch out from there what bisexuality was. Needless to say, I'm not going back to her.

[agent-florida.livejournal.com]

(Had to make room for a Project Freelancer icon. Thinking about reinstating it as my Do Not Want icon.)

OW OW SO MUCH OW on the tendons thing. Hoooooly crap. That is so much worse than anything you could do to him. Honestly, these types of people destroy themselves without us having to do much to facilitate it.

I would lol at you having that quack of a shrink... but seriously. I go to a Catholic university and I was still aboe to talk with my counselorperson about being bi. CATHOLIC, ffs. She was kinda totally cool with it: "So, tell me why you want to make out with your friend who is a girl and screw over all you've worked for with your boyfriend?" Yeah, you deserve better than that quack.

Perhaps if you get to Uni there'll be some kind of subsidized plan? Seriously, it cost me about $4 per session because they wanted people to seek help. Of course, the meds are the most expensive part (I have probably $300+ worth of antipsychotics here in my drawer that I am now never going to use). But... if they help, they help.

[agentak.livejournal.com]

(OOooh yeah... I keep forgetting up non-paid accounts can't have many icons. STUPID LJ!)

I was like buzzing that week. I'm so bad with schadenfreude when it comes to people I really hate.

I was literally facepalming the whole time. I hated her so much. She didn't let me get a word in anyway. Also there was a huge puddle of pee right in the middle of her waiting room that looked like it had been there for a while. Not exactly a slam against her qualifications, but it was still gross.

You could mail them to me
Here's hoping... Good shrinks are hard to get in with. I need to get a new family doctor as well but no one is accepting patients... It's really bad around here. I'm not even picky anymore, I just want my file in anyone's hands but hers.

[agent-florida.livejournal.com]

Well, in the meantime, since I can't legally give/sell you my meds (not like you'd want them, I hated the damn things), I'm here if you need someone to talk to who's not going to judge you for teh crazee. Lord knows we all have a bit of it. *hugs*

[agentak.livejournal.com]

Thanks. *huggles back*