I hate people. All people.
Feb. 9th, 2010 12:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
agentakI haven't written in a little while but I swear I'll write a catch-up entry on those horrible months. Surgery and major computer drama (very long story short: Best Buy incinerated my hard drive with almost four years of WIP writing and other data without making the back-up I hired them to do simply because they're fuckwits. Anyway.)
Life sucks pretty hard right now. I'm upset about a lot of things going on and it's hit me hard. I won't detail it all here because frankly that would clog up my page, but anyone who wants to know can just send me an email/facebook message/ect. I also have AIM now so if people want to add me there just drop me a line. I'm still not all that great with it, but moving on.
We're entering the seventh consecutive night with under an hour's sleep and it's really taking it's toll on me. Stuff like typing or texting can take me forever simply because I'll look back at what I just typed and see that I've made a lot of stupid mistakes on letters or whatever, so if there are a lot of mistakes in this.... I'm trying my best to keep them all out, but it's hard.
As of two nights ago I've had schizophrenic attacks at night. I almost never get them. Like, ever. I can't even remember the time I had a bad one. These ones weren't as bad as the ones I used to get, but they're a factor that's keeping me awake. Being so tired and so stressed out brought them on and now I'm sleeping even worse than before. Which says a lot. For some reason my lightswitch controlled music. When I turned my light off to go to bed, music played. When I turned the light back on it was gone. This went on for several hours.
The one thing I've realized is that it really says something that I live with family, my bedroom is direcly beside my parent's, but when I'm having a fit all I do is reach for my phone and text someone in Florida.
Izzy, I don't know if you'll read this or not but I love you so much. It means the world to me that I have someone that I can text that won't totally think I'm a freak.
Life sucks pretty hard right now. I'm upset about a lot of things going on and it's hit me hard. I won't detail it all here because frankly that would clog up my page, but anyone who wants to know can just send me an email/facebook message/ect. I also have AIM now so if people want to add me there just drop me a line. I'm still not all that great with it, but moving on.
We're entering the seventh consecutive night with under an hour's sleep and it's really taking it's toll on me. Stuff like typing or texting can take me forever simply because I'll look back at what I just typed and see that I've made a lot of stupid mistakes on letters or whatever, so if there are a lot of mistakes in this.... I'm trying my best to keep them all out, but it's hard.
As of two nights ago I've had schizophrenic attacks at night. I almost never get them. Like, ever. I can't even remember the time I had a bad one. These ones weren't as bad as the ones I used to get, but they're a factor that's keeping me awake. Being so tired and so stressed out brought them on and now I'm sleeping even worse than before. Which says a lot. For some reason my lightswitch controlled music. When I turned my light off to go to bed, music played. When I turned the light back on it was gone. This went on for several hours.
The one thing I've realized is that it really says something that I live with family, my bedroom is direcly beside my parent's, but when I'm having a fit all I do is reach for my phone and text someone in Florida.
Izzy, I don't know if you'll read this or not but I love you so much. It means the world to me that I have someone that I can text that won't totally think I'm a freak.
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no subject
Date: 2010-02-09 10:06 pm (UTC)friendboyfriendex in high school who couldn't sleep more than two hours a night most nights. I can't even imagine what that's like but I know it was horrible to see him fumbling around. (Kid almost hit me in front of our friends one morning. Wasn't exactly the best insomniac ever.) Also I'm totally with you on the weird attacks when trying to sleep thing. With me it's panic attacks that I'm going to die in my sleep. Feel better that we're all a little crazy and it's not just you, I suppose.This is making me even more motivated to finish that prompt for you. I promise cross my heart that it will be up by Sunday at the very latest. In fact, I may write two different things to the same prompt.
*hugs through the Internet*
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Date: 2010-02-10 12:23 am (UTC)I meant to say that I read your York/Wash/Maine! I was going to comment on it when I was less dead.... The York/Maine was sexy as hell
though more violent would have been nice since I'm just a pathetic masochistic submissiveI was like, melting the whole time reading it.Most of the melting going on in my shorts but not the pointYou are a Smut God. I swear.
*hugs back* Thanks.
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Date: 2010-02-09 10:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-10 12:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-10 12:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-10 12:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-11 05:54 am (UTC)*hugs*
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Date: 2010-02-11 07:30 am (UTC)....Though the hug is appriciated.
*hugs back*